Nattens frukter olol :o

13. January, 2007

Kom over en morsom historie :-) Kom over flere artige ting i løpet av nattens tukter. Gjør det enkelt og greit, så gidder ikkje skrive noe om de forskjellige – de taler for seg selv!

A teacher was doing a study testing the senses of first graders, using a bowl of Lifesavers.

The children began to say:

Finally the teacher gave them all honey Lifesavers.

After eating them none of the children could identify the taste.

“Well,” he said, “I’ll give you all a clue; It’s what your mother may sometimes call your father.”

One little girl looked up in horror, spit her Lifesaver out and yelled:

“Oh My God!!!! They’re assholes!”

My hero used to be Captain Planet. But he never solved global warming, that jerk. So I’ve been searching and searching for a new person to worship. And I’ve finally found him…it’s the kid in the background of the Jessica Alba bikini pictures. Here’s my letter to him.

jessica alba with kid in background

Dear Kid In The Background Of The Jessica Alba Bikini Pictures;

You’re a lucky son of a bitch. You’ll never do anything as good in your life again as casually swim by Jessica Alba while she’s wearing a bikini.

None of us will. That’s the highest achievement of mankind.

You could do great things; cure cancer, win multiple academy awards, sell ten million records, become the president of Zimbabwe. But when you completed any of these achievements, the headline in the newspaper the next day would read “Boy Who Swam Next To Alba Did Good.” And you’re not gonna be mad when that happens. Because Jessica Alba is that friggn’ hot.

You look about eight years old. Maybe younger. Now when I was eight, I wasn’t really popping too many boners. I was mostly thinking about the Ninja Turtles. But I can see it in your face, kid. You’ve got a diving board down your pants. I’m sure you have no idea what to do with it, whatever. The point is, Alba’s so hot she gave an eight year old wood. She’s so hot she gives new born babies wood. Hell, she’s so friggin’ hot she gives chicks wood. So kid, don’t be embarrassed. You’re in good company.

Also, if you’re ever strapped for cash, I’ve got an idea for you. Put the goggles you wore on eBay. List them as “Goggles Worn When I Saw Jessica Alba In A Bikini” and set the minimum bid at $10,000. And then watch them sell. For a million bucks. You’re probably thinking, but wait, they didn’t even touch Alba, who’s gonna buy them?” Kid, ohhh kid. The same sun rays that were baking the sweet, supple perfection that is Jessica Alba’s ass passed through those goggles. The same salt water that tingled in between Alba’s nether parts touched those goggles. Trust me. They’ll sell.

I’m sorry for you, however, because you’re never gonna find another woman attractive again. You’ve seen the mold, the absolute pinnacle, and now every other chick you’ll come across will look inferior. You’re probably gonna turn gay…and that’s only expected of you.

In conclusion kid, I salute you. You saw Jessica Alba swim by…and lived to fight another day. Alba in a bikini is like a modern day version of a medieval dragon…mythical, amazing…and dangerous as hell.

Congratulations…and…can I hang out with you some time?


Og så var det historien om PirateBay som vil kjøpe sitt eget land. Innen jeg ble ferdig med diverse dilling her, var selvsagt denne “nyheten” overalt. Kunne faktisk skrevet om den her før den kom til itavisen,, etc. Men men. 1 2 3

Nå sitter jeg å koser meg. Ser på rekruttene som måtte opp kl 0600. De har sin første tørrdrilling på SLO i 15 kuldegrader. Priceless.

Postet under: Annet

4 kommentarer.

  1. einar-helge
    13. January, 2007, kl 12:22

    hahah, måtte le av den bade-gutten altså

  2. jocke
    13. January, 2007, kl 15:15

    mhm, priceless :o)

  3. Sturla
    15. January, 2007, kl 01:26

    Jeg håper du tilgir meg at jeg har videresendt brevet til “alle” jeg kjenner..?
    Ufattelig morsomt! :D

  4. jocke
    15. January, 2007, kl 06:23

    En latter forlenger livet, så du gjør bare samfunnet en tjeneste :-)

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