Problem:  "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire." 

Problem:  "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."

Problem #1:  "#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid."
Solution #1: "#2 Propeller seepage normal."
Problem #2:  "#1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage."

Problem:    "The autopilot doesn't."
Signed off: "IT DOES NOW."

Problem:  "Something loose in cockpit."
Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit."

Problem:  "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
Solution: "Evidence removed."

Problem:  "DME volume unbelievably loud."
Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."

Problem:  "Dead bugs on windshield."
Solution: "Live bugs on order."

Problem:  "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."
Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."

Problem:  "IFF inoperative."
Solution: "IFF always inoperative in OFF mode."

Problem:  "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
Solution: "That's what they're there for."

Problem:  "Number three engine missing."
Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."